V O L U M E

I V

C H R O N I C L E

O F

Y E L L O W S T O N E

D A Y S

A N N O

S T E L L A E

1 9 2 8

Song of the Golden West

Dear Johnguy,

Now don’t be mad at me! I really owe you at least one corker--right? I admit it’s a little mean. But you have it coming. What a camp it’s been. The worst thing was getting going, I think, and the hardest day was the one when everybody else gets to sleep in. Really, on Saturday even bears utter “d--”, if like us, they had to jump out of bed bright and chipper and see to all the hordes of dudes and sagebrushers! But complaints aside, I’ll never forget all the good times--a million of ‘em at last count.

Rose is a sport of a heaver. She agreed to pass you this note when you come in to grab a last meal, just after I’m safely on the bus. When you read it, you’ll be racing to pick up your cash box I stashed up in the Mystery Cave, and I will be flying the yellow bus out, chum. Now you’ll have to take the next bus out tomorrow with the leftover dudes and their crying brats--tra la la! You know I’ll be laughing all the way back to Kalamazoo.

Mean? Hardly. That’s for putting mentholatum in my shampoo bottle. And that dead-ripe skunk in our lodge! And those other swell things you thought up, in case we girls got a little bored and let our socks sag a bit on those legs you’re always dyin’ to see!

Oh, I forgot, how you made our day when we were all singing most sweet and solemn “Day is Dying in the West,” our last church meeting together when that beautiful red-tailed falling star passed right overhead, and me thinking how soon we’ll all be going our separate ways and feeling very sad, and then you cut in right behind me with “A peanut settin’ on a railroad track, its heart all a’flutter. The train came roarin’ round a curve, TOOT TOOT, peanut butter!” You HAD to cut up right behind me! Why not some other girl? Oh, no, it’s gotta be me! I could have sunk right through the ground to China!

The managers all turned round and stared at ME, and for a moment I thought I’d be thrown out! THANKS for that, too! I felt a pinch and right off, Sadie essayed, “Butter utter, Dowager?” You can see by that how my sidekick stood by me in a tight spot. To translate our girl talk, Johnguy, that meant: “You better smooth-talk ‘em something quick, or I don’t know you anymore!”

As you know, I couldn’t think of anything, I just looked stupid, and the rain started, and that saved me. But it was a great camp, even with you Johnguy. See you in ‘29, which will be the greatest ever no doubt. I wouldn’t miss it for the world! How goes that swell tune: “...let the Big Apple crash into the sea, I’ll bob, O Yellowstone, for thee! Let Chicago freeze up like ice cream, without Yellowstone I’ll scream!”

Don’t worry. You will recover all. You’ll just have a little, unexpected time on your hands, waiting for the next ride out. Time to give that one pair of socks you wore all camp a good wash with some Ivory! Hey, do the world a favor, and quit saving and take a nickle and buy a new pair!

Best wishes, Esthergirl

MY YELLOWSTONE SONG (sung to “Battle Hymn of the Republic”

Oh, you can have your truffles in gay Paree,

You can have your oysters in Teaneck;

You can have you scones at dear old Coney,

But if you don’t have ham and eggs at Yellowstone, you’re off the deck! [sung lickity split]

Oh, you can have your debut in Atlan-ta-ta,

You can have your cable cars and Frisco’s bay,

And order your silk stockin’s from Nassau--

But as for me I’ll go barefoot in Yellowstone,

And take my beauty rest on rock and pine cone!

Refrain

Yellowstone, you are the best.

Yellowstone, you are the best.

Yellowstone, you are best.

I love you, Golden West!

(c) 2005, Butterfly Productions, All Rights Reserved